The Subway Cheese Conspiracy

I really hate the way Subway places the cheese on their subs in a stupid overlapping fashion that defies all logic. But some clever internet sleuth with a camera has proven me wrong. There apparently is a logic applied to the madness!



You see?? It's all just a scam to promote orders of extra cheese! Bastards!

So today I got on my high horse and walked to the nearest Subway to order a turkey & cheese, and when the Asian sandwich artist placed my cheddar in the usual overlapping fashion, I said with just a tad of smug self-righteousness, "could you please make sure that the cheese doesn't overlap?"

When she replied, "What?", I wasn't sure if a) she had not heard me, b) she was caught off-guard by my stupid request, or c) I had misjudged her familiarity with the English language.

I repeated my stupid request and she queried, "you want extra cheese?"

"Aha!" I thought, preparing for the subsequent consumer-rights battle in my head. I said, "no, I just want you to flip that middle piece of cheese so that it covers all the bread."

I expected resistance, but she got the best of me by retaining total eye-contact with me as she flippantly flopped that middle piece of cheese, as requested, and pushed the sandwich into the waiting hands of the veggie expert down the line. Her vacant expression and cold stare were the only cues I needed to understand that this battle was not only beneath her, but that I had absolutely no chance of winning regardless.

I walk a little less tall today.