Has My Cusack Dream Come True?

I’m at Sea-Tac airport 2 ½ hours early for my flight, heading to Boise for the Holidays. I was starving and had to find a place to eat. The Sea-Tac airport has numerous options, the only problem was because of the holiday traffic most places had long waits which I didn’t have time for. I swallowed my pride and decided that the Quiznos was looking pretty good and it wasn’t super ridiculously over priced like most airport fare. You should never have to pay $9.00 for McDonald’s under any circumstances…ever.

Back to the story, I got into the long ass line and began to check my e-mail via my phone. It wasn’t like I was expecting an important message or anything; I just felt that it made me look like a mover and shaker even though I was looking at Viagra ads and home refinancing options. As the line moved I looked up to see the guy in line ahead of me, he was rather tall, dressed in black, and I had a feeling that he was rather attractive. He turned his head slightly to reveal a boyish face that looked like…. John Cusack.

I began to freak out, could it really be him? Why would he be eating Quiznos? Why would he be in the Seattle airport alone? How come nobody else noticed him? How do I explain to him that I once wrote blog about wanting to get a date with him? Would it be wrong to grab him and make out with him on the chip rack?

These questions flooded me at once. And I answered them in my head because that is just how I work.

Could it really be him? Sure I have seen numerous famous people on regular flights and hanging out in airports before, not every celebrity has a private jet even though we like to think that. Plus he can’t be that loaded, his recent run at the box office has been pretty unfortunate. Maybe he will be on my flight and we can join the mile high club?

Why would he be eating Quiznos? He seems more like a Subway kind of guy.

Why would he be in the Seattle Airport alone? Not everyone has an entourage; (nice Jeremy Piven shout out) maybe he is on his way back to LA for the holidays and his family is in LA or something. Or maybe he is preparing to do a movie and wants to examine how the other half lives… However, I think it boils down to him just stalking me. That crazy hot little mofo.

How come nobody else noticed him? Well it is Seattle, unless he was Frazier Crane or fronted a 1990’s grunge band nobody down here cares. Honestly if I ever see an unkept guy wearing a flannel shirt again I am beating that person to death because they are too stupid to live.

How do I explain to him that I once wrote a blog about wanting to get a date with him? I don’t think I need to tell him, you know one of his publicist’s googled his name and found it one day. They thought about setting us up on a date but then thought better of it as they didn’t want him coming back saying, “that bitch is crazy”

Would it be wrong to grab him and make out with him on the chip rack? No, nothing would be hotter than a bag of salt n vinegar chips getting shoved where the sun doesn’t shine, plus men love this type of spontaneous sex shit. Of course some might not find this spontaneous or romantic and would possibly consider it sexual assault; I don’t need another strike on my record.

Finally, after answering all these questions in my head his cell phone rang. When he answered it, he turned fully my way and revealed himself to not be John Cusack. My dreams of a chip rack make out session were ruined, so I just went back to reading the e-mail on my phone and dreaming of what could have been and really needing to eat something before I start to really hallucinate.