You know it’s been too long since you got any when any of the following occur:

- You are attracted to someone that is selling hot dogs and peanuts at the pier.
- You are attracted to someone and think, “Hey, denim shorts on a man are bad, but he doesn’t look so bad.”
- You consider slipping your number to someone you meet in the in your parking garage.
- When your friend tries to set you up with someone and you ask him what he looks like, you think it’s okay when she/he says, “Well, I’d give him a 5 on a scale of 1 to 10, but he does own his own house and he loves animals.”
- You can’t remember where you put your razor because you stopped shaving your legs since no one ever sees them.
- The phrase “good time” makes you think of staying at home on a Friday night and eating a pint of ice cream in your bed while watching episodes of the Bachelor online.

It’s time, kids. Mama’s got needs.