This year marks the 50th birthday of the 64 box of Crayola Crayons. As a “special present” to the public, Crayola has introduced several new colors-all of which have been named by kids. The new colors have cheesy names like “Awesome”, “Giving Tree”, “Famous”, “Fun in the Sun”, “Best Friends”, “Super Happy”, “Happy Ever After”, and “Bear Hug”. I don’t know about you, but those names make me want to puke, just a little bit.

What happened to the names that are more representative of today’s youth? Names like “Daddy Drinks too Much”, “I Have 2 Mommies”, and “Latch Key”? Now that’s what I’d like to see! Of course, those colors would not be representative of my box (BWAHAHAHA!! I said box!). Here, for your eyes only (and the eyes of anyone else that happens to stumble upon the post) I present you with the 2008 Ihavenoinnermonologue Colors:

Boozy Vegas Silver

Muffin TopPink

Clap Having Jezebel: Red like the sores she gives you.

Online Dating: This is the same pukey green color my face turns to turn after reading too many of the profiles.

Single & 32: Aw, this one is blue-just like me.