Horror of all horrors…

I embarrassed myself at work today. It was worse than the time several years ago that I slipped, fell down the stairs, and ended up on my back at the bottom of the stairs wearing my lunch. Did I mention that there was a round of applause and a random “See you next fall!” shouted towards me? Yeah, it happened.

This is even worse than the time that my secret boyfriend at work caught me adjusting my bra and boobs.

Or when I accidentally flashed a project manager.

I was standing at a coworkers desk this afternoon. She is very nice and very pleasant, and I’m just counting my lucky stars that I wasn’t talking to my boss. Anyway, this coworker of mine made a joke and I opened my mouth and laughed. It was a hearty laugh, and as I opened my mouth, I felt something fly out. Then I caught site of a GIGANTIC loogie taking flight, it was aimed right at her.

Ever had one of those moments when you think to yourself, “Please, God, if you are merciful you will strike me dead right now”? Well, this was one of those moments. It was as if I was watching a movie in slow motion and the loogie hurdling through the air was travelling at a snail’s pace. Suddenly, it landed in the middle of her desk. Right on a pile of notes that she had stacked. Meanwhile, my poor coworker had a look that can only be described as horrified delight. She burst out laughing.

“OH MY GOD! I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry!!” I said as I felt the blood rush to my face and my cheeks felt like they would burst into flames.

Do you know how freaking hard it is to clean a loogie off of paper?? It’s really freaking difficult.