Online Dating...

In the beginning of 2009, I mentioned I'd give online dating another shot. Well it's been three weeks and nothing really promising to report. Actually it's pretty bad, traumatizing if you will. You know how sometimes when you have a traumatic experience you block it from your memory, but sometimes you’ve done such a good job at blocking the terrible memory that you go and put yourself into the EXACT same situation that causes the memory in the first place and then you end up having flashbacks and nightmares and the next thing you know you’ve got tin foil on all of your windows and the only place you feel safe is in the bathtub while you’re wearing your high heels a tiara and your favorite apron? Online dating is kind of like that for me.

Why do I keep doing this to myself? I sign up with a site, have a terrible experience, close out my account, and then a few months go by. Sometimes I’m hit on by old men, sometimes by those that can’t form a coherent sentence, and other times I end up with someone like the Dentist from hell.

Let me share some examples. I’ve gone ahead and made a nice collage of some of the “gentlemen” that are interested in meeting me. Hmm…which one would you choose?



Shall we go for the one that he’s going to molest all the children in my family? Hmm…or maybe for the one that looks like he’s trying to “mad pimp”? Nah, how about for T. Rex (named because of his teeny tiny little arms)? Or maybe we’ll just go for the young Fat Bastard? So many options to choose from…

Perhaps I should just stop being so shallow and go ahead and get to know someone that has mastered the English Language:

About Me
I‘m humorous, sincerity, honesty and speak clear to the point. I love talking to people and a visionary and futuristic. I am gracious, humble and intelligent. I am playful, caring and very caring personally. In actuality, I am a very diverse individual with many interest, talents and desires. I enjoy researching and balancing life. I believe in being attracted to each other for balanced chemistry and will become hopeless romantic when it happens. I enjoy walking a lot. I like a variety of ethnic foods. My favorite vacation spots are places with plenty to do in an exotic environment and like living a magical life which includes holding hands, sharing time and fond glances often, and life pregnant with communication among other things. I look forward to when I shall be connected in mind and heart with a lady I’ll name First Lady. I’m interested in a physically, spiritual and mentally whole lady who is romantically savvy, growing from friendship, companionship to love! I am open to be with someone who mutually cares and respects. Someone who would desire meeting a down to earth personality which my friends say is my hallmark. She should be honest, sincere, fun loving, sensitive, and a passionate person and must be much smarter than the average. I am seeking someone who is goal oriented and believes that any and all things are possible. Who is interested in true love and is a hopeless romantic. My partner to be must be genuine, sincere, outgoing, cheerful, optimistic and intelligent.

I don’t know about you, but I’m totally digging a life that’s “pregnant with communication”. What the hell does that mean??

Next time I decide to try online dating, can you please shake me until my ears bleed and then show me this post? Thanks!